The vast majority of women I talk to ask one question in regards to discipleship: where are the Titus 2 women in the church? For those of you who are not familiar with what scripture says in regards to women in Titus 2, here it is:
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." -- Titus 2:3-5
The lack of older women discipling younger women is shocking. I myself have searched for a mentor for years now, and have as yet been unable to find somebody willing. I rely mostly on blogs from older Christian women, and a few online who are willing to discuss tough topics. When we lack older women to teach the younger, is it any wonder why we have generations coming up who have no clue as to what the Bible says about women? Why are we surprised that feminism has taken root, and biblical femininity has gone by the wayside?
The Bible puts the focus of the married woman on her husband and children. Is it acceptable for a woman to remain unmarried? Yes, but only if she's been called to a celibate life in service of the Lord. Otherwise she should be preparing for marriage and family. Today, however, we find women focusing mainly on their careers, and treating husbands and children as if they are intrusions on their life. It is so backwards it would be laughable if it weren't doing so much damage to the Church.
Let's look at whats the Bible says about the role of women:
"... likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. " -- 1 Timothy 2:9-14
"... encourage... older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity." -- 1 Timothy 5:1-2
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." -- 1 Peter 3:1-6
Women are to be respectable, modest, pure, self-controlled, and submissive to their husbands. Why? Because that is what God tells us to do. The Bible even talks about being obedient when our husbands are disobedient. We are to set an example for others in our dedication to the Lord, in the way we conduct ourselves. That doesn't mean acting high and mighty on Sundays and going home to demean our husband's masculinity and ignore our children during the week.
Instruction to women as wives and mothers is most often combined in scripture. We see that it is assumed that women who are married will be mothers, with exceptions for those who should rejoice even in a circumstance of infertility. We see nowhere where a woman is instructed to avoid having children or pawn those children off on others to raise.
It would make most sense to raise up young girls to be wives and mothers, to disciple them in the ways of family life so they are prepared for the service they will enter in life. How many women have gone out into the world to make their way, and come home to their families without a clue as to what their role is to be? Who is taking the time to teach younger women to be wives and mothers so they are not at a disadvantage and do not damage their marriage and family when they get to that point in life? Are those in positions of authority prepared to answer for how the women under their care turn out?
I believe we also must instruct women to be content in their position in life, whether they be single or married, whether they are childless or have a house full of little ones. If they are called to a celibate life, then they should rejoice in it, but if they are called to be married, they should glorify God as well. We just must ensure that whichever it is, women are not doing it out of a selfish and sinful nature, but to the glory of God.
What we lack in the Church today is women who are bold enough to throw off the secular teachings of the feministic society we live in, and instead embrace the biblical femininity our Lord has prescribed. Instead of encouraging women to care for their families, the Church puts precedence on those who have "real" jobs, as if wife-hood and motherhood are not jobs in themselves. We should put priority on those things the Bible puts priority on, and not what is most popular in society. Children need their mothers, and husbands need their wives. If that means giving up our selfish dreams and coming home to meet our God-given responsibilities, then so be it. The Church should support that, and even push for it to ensure that the priority is put back on raising godly families instead of fulfilling selfish desires.
Is this an easy task? Of course not. I would venture to say that most women will not agree with me. I've heard the argument regarding the Proverbs 31 woman, and how she must have worked outside the home. There is a HUGE difference between a woman working outside the home and a woman staying at home to raise her children while also having jobs she does on the side. The stay-at-home-mother does much more than simply sit at home with her children. Most I know also volunteer in their church and community, have home businesses, or do other activities. They rarely have any down time, yet people assume they are lazy.
We should call women to use their God-given talents to help raise up lives for the Lord right at home. What good is it for us to go out into the world while those under our roofs are going to hell? Where is our sense of responsibility? God never says we will get to do everything we want in life; He specifically tells us it will be full of trials. Our promise is in Heaven, and won't it be wonderful to be able to stand before Him on judgment day and know that we did not neglect those God put under our care, but instead nurtured and raised up generations who would change the world?