Monday, May 19, 2008

mother's day/birthday

Every so often, my birthday falls on Mother's Day, which is fun because the family has more to celebrate. This year it was a bit different for me, because it also marked four months since Ahlai passed. The week leading up to it was very emotional for me, because I just longed for a baby to love and care for. I listened to all of my pregnant friends get excited for the day, and I wondered if anybody would remember that I was a mom, too. My pastor said something the week before that stuck with me, and made me realize that everything would be ok. I prayed a lot, and cried a little, and Ken was by my side the entire time. Well, Sunday came and I headed to church wearing my "angel mom" pin that my mother-in-law Carol gave me (I cried when I opened the card). I had a few birthday wishes, and a couple Mother's Day wishes, but nothing big. I took the gift for the mothers, and nobody questioned me. One of the elders was so kind in telling me that he had thought of me, knowing the significance of the day.

The rest of the day was spent up at my parents' house eating breakfast for dinner (a Mother's Day tradition) and just having fun times. I got sweet cards from my family, and teared up a little at their thoughtfulness at remembering what is important to me.

So Sunday came and went, and I survived. I was amazingly blessed on that day, and am so thankful that God provides in ways that we do not expect- not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Though most people did not remember me on the day, I found that I didn't need them to. My family remembered me, and most importantly, God remembered me.