Saturday, March 1, 2008


Has anybody else ever experienced a conflict of interest between family and God? I haven't ever really experienced that kind of conflict until this year. I'm seriously torn. It seems the more I rely on God, the more independent I must be from those around me. I've always considered my family to be the closest to me, but I think God is starting to fill that space now. I still take into account what others say, but I always take everything to the Lord before I make any moves on my own.

My faith has started to have a life of its own. I no longer rely on what others have taught me my entire life- I look at the Word, I put scriptures in context, and I build my own understanding. Now, I'm not saying that I've been taught falsehoods my entire life, but I am discovering some things that I didn't know before.

It's interesting that when you get married you form your very own family. I've recently realized that my loyalty must be to my husband as to the Lord. If my husband is doing God's will, I have nothing to worry about, ever, even if it seems scary sometimes. My husband and I are one, and I must rely on him to be the spiritual leader of our family. God does not join us for no reason. He gives us our spouse to fulfill the relationship He intended. I must guard my marriage from outside influences that would divide us.

"For this reason a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate." - Mark 1:7-9

I am just so thrilled that God has been revealing my purpose to me. I used to wonder just what it was I was supposed to do in life. For those of you who have known me for a while, my choices have reflected that. I've bounced around, tried out things here and there. I think the Lord really began to mold me this summer, and drew me to Him. My job is to be a wife. It seems so insignificant to many, but I take the job seriously. I am to be the helpmeet of my husband, the one who compliments him, submitting to him and trusting him. He has a much more difficult job than I do, and I respect that.

"21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." - Ephesians 5:21-27

How amazing is it that marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church! I was asked this week, if the wife is to submit to the husband, what does the husband do? He loves the wife. He is like Christ, and the wife is like the Church. The husband must love as Christ loved, and as Christ humbled himself the husband humbles himself and puts his wife's interests before his own, but under that of the Lord. It is an impossible task, but God did not give it without purpose. I think that we can see just how amazing Christ's love is when we try to be like Him.

"1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." - 1 Peter 3:1-7

Yes, I know I'm repeating these verses a lot. I think they are very important for us to study, and give the most insight into why we marry and how a marriage should look. I want to be considered one of Sarah's daughters. I want to be the woman of God that He is leading me to be. I want to be a witness to the world about what Christ has done in my life.

This brings me back to my original point. I am torn between God and family to some extent. I worry more than I should, and that has been leading me to prayer in the past month. I pray much of the day. I lift it all to Him, and He guides me. I have clear direction, and I am not ashamed. My conclusion: God wins.

“16 I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. 17 For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’” – Romans 1:16-17


Just A Berean said...

Hello, I’ve been enjoying your husband’s contributions on CARM and just followed the links over here. Someone said on CARM that you don’t agree with your husband’s conclusions on some issues. Then I’m reading that you consider your husband your spiritual leader. That seems a bit confusing, because actually Christ is every Christian’s spiritual leader. Only He understands everything and thus is worthy to guide us into all truth. And according to Scripture both husband and wife are to be the spiritual leaders of the family, i.e. children. And that requires that they be in agreement.

Life is not as easy as we would like it to be. There is no easy way out of growing up into the maturity of the man Christ Jesus to do the works that He did. We canot expect another human being to do all the work and we get to rest on his laurels.

Grace and Peace…

Mrs. Sewell (Professional Wife and SAHM) said...


I love what you have shared. It is so refreshing to see you growing in the Lord.

It is not popular, even amongst Christian women, to submit to their husbands. Submission is not something we do because we agree with it. If we did, it would not be submission.

There can only be one spiritual leader, so to speak in a home. I cannot lead my husband while he leads me. Wouldn't work logically. So he leads and I follow, as long as he is not asking me to sin.

SO I understand your point on spiritual headship. Marriage is a symbol or a reflection of the relationship Christ has with the Church, so, HE leads, not us. We are not both in charge. That is difficult for some to "submit" to. Before I became a Christian, it was hard for me to understand as well.

I am glad to see you growing in the Lord!

God Bless
Your Sister in Christ,
Crystal <>< (SAHM)

Courtney said...

My husband and I agree on all doctrines essential to salvation, and on a vast majority of non-essential doctrine. We certainly agree on the issue of the role of a man and woman.

I look up to my husband as the spiritual leader of the family because that is what is laid out in God's Word. Respecting my husband's authority is certainly not "resting on his laurels". Being submissive does not mean I'm a mindless idiot.

Crystal- Thank you so much for your comments and words of encouragement. I appreciate it more than you know. You are truly a blessing. I love you, lady!