Saturday, February 2, 2008

a glimpse of the dawn

When I was first dealing with the loss of Ahlai I thought of the song "Trading My Sorrows"

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord


Chorus:
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

Well, now I'm beginning to see the morning after the night. Today I got a call from my midwife, Nan, and was expecting bad news because her tone was so somber. Instead, I got the best news I've heard in a long while- all the genetic tests came back normal! They determined the umbilical cord just didn't attach properly. We are free to have children whenever we decide to. I just praise God that we are still healthy and can have healthy babies!

This has been a long, hard while for Ken and I, and we are finding new ways to know each other each day. We have had many discussions about what the future may hold for us and children, and now we have a direction to move toward. It's amazing how God can turn the worst things in life into lessons that bring us closer to Him.

My prayer is that Ken and I will still lean on the Lord as much even when we are getting back to normal and continue to communicate as we have learned to these past weeks.

P.S.- We had a little BOY

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